Every Good Gift

Ever been given a gift that you though, "Why in the world did they give me this?" You know how it is...the ugly sweater, the gaudy jewelry, the fruitcake, the fencing pliers from your husband (true story). Christmas is a time of gift giving...gifts given and received from loved ones.  No gift we ever receive from others can ever compare to the ones that God gives us. Because He declares that His gifts are ALWAYS GOOD...in fact He even goes as far to say that they are PERFECT.

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning." James 1:17

Sometimes though we look at His gifts and wonder..."What was He thinking? This is a hard gift." You wonder why He picked this specific gift for you.  But He did...and if you seek Him, you realize...it is a PERFECT gift.

THE GIFT OF BEN

written by Hope Budahl Robertson

Where to begin? Maybe I should start by telling you that I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl in June of 2011 and said to my husband, “I think our family is complete. We have 6 beautiful, healthy children, and I’m getting older. The odds of having a problem with one are getting higher. We are done.”

   Maybe I should explain that I have often enjoyed my times with people who have special needs, and in the back of my mind wondered (somewhat fearfully) if God was preparing me for a special needs kid of my own. Maybe I’ll just get to the point. Just after the New Year 2013, I found out that I was pregnant with our 7th child. Though not exactly “planned,” I was thrilled. Every new life is a precious gift, and I looked forward to enjoying one last pregnancy, which I expected to run just like my other 6 seamless pregnancies. However, when I had not yet felt the baby move by 20 weeks, I started to get a little concerned. I called the hospital, and was scheduled for an ultrasound that very day. Upon seeing the heart beat and the tiny baby wiggling on the screen, my fears were relieved…until the doctor walked in and said, “There are a few anomalies on this ultrasound. There is some extra fluid at the back of the baby’s brain, his kidney is enlarged, and you have a one artery umbilical cord. It could be nothing, but your doctor should be calling you in a few days.” At the time, I had no idea what would be coming. Later that night, my OB doctor called. “I think this is of concern. One or even two markers wouldn’t matter, but to see these 3 together is more concerning. I’m going to refer you to a specialist.” Two long weeks later, Jonathan went with me to the ultrasound at the neo-natal clinic. The technician finished up and left the room. When the door opened and 5 or 6 people walked in, we knew there was trouble. Multiple anomalies had been found. There was something wrong with nearly every part of our son’s body. The diagnosis…prepare for a still-born baby. My heart was broken, and I begged God to take the baby quickly. As the shock wore off, I began to reflect that God would see us through this. I remained firm in my belief that He is good, all the time. Not just when things go as I want them to. Friends and family gathered around us, assuring us of their love and prayers. Friends from all around the world heard of our situation and began to pray, and our spirits were comforted. The grief was still there, but God’s presence was greater. The option to terminate the pregnancy was given since it was the opinion of the doctors that the baby would likely not survive, and if he did, he’d be severely handicapped. We stated in no uncertain terms that this was not an option, and it was not brought up again. Rather, everything possible would be done for me and the baby during the remainder of the pregnancy. Multiple genetic tests were done. One by one the obvious diagnoses were ruled out. Specialists were consulted and research was done, but there were no answers. Our hopes would rise and fall and rise again as new possibilities were presented and then disproved. Months of research culminated in one final conclusion, given by the geneticist. “We can hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.” Because the baby was growth restricted, the doctors feared going past 38 weeks, so Oct. 1 was the date chosen for my induction. A routine induction turned into an emergency C-section, and Benjamin Seth, “son of my right hand, in place of the one who was dead,” was delivered in the early hours of Oct. 2. By the time I awakened from being knocked out, Benjamin was already in the NICU, and I was too weak to even lift a finger. But, he was alive!

  The following weeks are a blur, as test after test was run on Benjamin. A tentative decision was made that Ben’s physical anomalies are caused by the very rare Peter’s Plus syndrome, though no tests have been done to confirm. Tests also showed that my tiny baby would need a fairly routine open heart surgery for a total anomalous pulmonary venous return, or he would not live. So, Ben was moved to yet another facility, where the doctors successfully performed a life-saving heart operation on my very weak and sick one month old baby.

  The surgery was the jump-start Benjamin needed. He began to rapidly gain strength. He started to respond to me, and smile at me, and I could hold him without sending his oxygen levels plummeting or his heart rate sky-rocketing.

 

  Two weeks later, he had a gastrointestinal tube put in, since he cannot swallow yet. This was the final step needed before he could come home. On Tuesday, Dec. 10, exactly 10 weeks after I went in for induction, Benjamin came home. We are filled with gratitude to the God who heals. Yes, Benjamin has some issues that will require continuing medical care and therapy for awhile, but there is great hope for improvement. Most of all, God was with us through the uncertainties of the pregnancy, the momentous birth, and the emotionally fraught weeks surrounding the heart surgery, and we KNOW that He will not forsake us now. Those who said, “Are you sure you really want to go through with the heart surgery? After all, Benjamin has so many things wrong with him, and every time we look, we seem to find something else,” are now saying, “Well, Benjamin surprised us.” He’s doing so much better than anyone ever expected and the word from the doctors is now, “He has a long life ahead of him and anything else he needs done is nothing compared to what he’s already been through.” We can truthfully say, we are thankful for this experience. We are thankful for the lessons learned and the opportunity to see God’s hand at work in Benjamin’s and our lives. God is good, ALL the time.

 

Merry Christmas!
 

Understanding This Love

When we told people we were adoptiong, most people were pretty positive about it.  There were some rather negative responses though.  And one really stuck with me....probably because it sort of defines the beginning part of this adoption so well.

"Why would you adopt someone who is never going to understand what you did for them?"

I admit that when I was asked this, I was a little offended. In all my "righteous" (haha) anger, I thought. "Because that is not the point!!!! We were adopting because God has asked to adopt. And He went as far as to ask us to adopt someone who may not quite understand." (See! Good thing I only thought this and did not say it out loud.) I am hoping that this person was just trying to prepare me. And although I thought that my mind was prepared, I could never understand what they were saying until I actually experienced it. And experience it, I did!!!

Olivia didn't need me. As far as she knew, she was just fine where she was. She didn't need attention or food or therapy....she was cared for. And no matter how much I told myself to understand this, it was exceedingly hard to embrace.

From the moment we stepped into her institution, they took every opportunity to show us just how well she was taken care of...how much they were doing for her. And then they pointed out that I may not be able to take care of her the way they do. Parents were unnecessary for a child like her, because she just needed therapy, food, and a place to keep her safe. Right?

I fought hard to keep my mind wrapped around the fact that God had chosen us to raise her. It was a battle in my mind each day. And even when they finally stopped telling me I was inadequate to meet her needs and the judge declared her ours, I still had trouble connecting with this child. This child who thought I had ruined her rather fun life. She glared, she moaned, she cried any time she actually had to do anything with me. She disliked me and she wanted away from me. I had no idea a child could so strongly dislike their "Mom". She wanted life the way it was...and she still does. Do I expect her to understand? No. But my heart screams for her to understand that just because my love is different than attention she had before, it is still love.

Do you see a parallel here? I know I do. How many times do we look at our Christian life and just want things to be the way they were before? How much easier was it before we actually understood what it meant to be adopted , to be chosen,to be loved by Someone we have never met.

According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love: Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will. Ephesians 1:4-5

To realize that being adopted means that our life has to change. Their are new expectations, rules....a new life....different from our life before. We are to reach out add love the One who loved us first. Even if our life in Him is a little harder at times. Even if we feel He is not easy. Even if He has expectations of us.

To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved. In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace;Wherein he hath abounded toward us in all wisdom and prudence; Having made known unto us the mystery of his will, according to his good pleasure which he hath purposed in himself: Ephesians 1:6-9

He is not attention. He is not always fun. He isn't easy. He is LOVE UNCONDITIONAL. He is our inheritance.
Do we ever fully understand? Do we understand what it's like to have a new parent?

The eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that ye may know what is the hope of his calling, and what the riches of the glory of his inheritance in the saints. Ephesians 1:18

So as I hope some day, for a bit of love and acceptance from Olivia. I am daily reminded that I am also adopted, chosen, and loved. Do I live my life in such a way that shows Him that I love Him, accept Him, understand His love?

Is this the end?

Almost two months have passed since I last posted.  I would blame how busy it has been (and it has been busy), but I know that is not the complete truth. I have struggled with whether to continue writing on this blog or to just close it.  It served it's purpose, right?  I was able to let you follow along on our rather wild journey of adopting Olivia. And now she's home. And in all my pride...I decided I would rather not tell you about the struggles and frustrations that have accompanied being home. I just told myself that what I had to say really wouldn't help anyone. Or would it?
Today, while I scrubbed out behind my stove and refrigerator (nasty job), I argued with myself (yes, this happens often). To end or not to end?  Do you really want to hear about valleys and shadows?  I like to call it my "trenches".  Because sometimes they are just there and I stumble into them, and other times I dig them myself. I know that for myself, those trenches are a rather wonderful part of the life God has given me.  Because it seems that when I finally get to the end of one, God reveals something rather glorious!
So here is what I have decided....y'all get to decide!  Do you really want to hear about the "way that Christ changes  me/us"? Let me know....

....because I will empty the next post out of my brain and make room for something like a password or recipe.

One Month

It is hard to believe that I have officially been in Poland for a month.  You know, people always say "Time flies"....it doesn't.  I feel as if I have been here forever.  Leave someone you love behind (or five someones) and just see how quickly the time goes. But this has been a learning experience for me.  Let me divide it up this way....

Things I have learned about Olivia.

1. She is a rambunctious, energy filled kid. She fights. She plays. She pouts (a lot). Why is it that people assume that because you have Down Syndrome that you are somehow different?
2. She has some medical issues that definitely need dealt with at home. Most of them can be addressed by a Ear, Nose and Throat doctor.  She snores while she is awake and when she swallows, it sounds like she is swallowing rocks.
3. She has clothing issues.  She likes them off...so she can put them back on...and take them back off.  This is harmless (other than stretched socks and shirts) but drives me insane.
4. She is an excellent car traveller (opposed to what the nuns told us).  None of my kids travel as well as she has.
5. She has no "full" gauge when it comes to food.  And although this is funny (because, don't we all feel this way sometimes?); it can be really bad for her. 
6. She doesn't know how to handle attention. This can also be potentially bad for her.
7.She has a really weird laugh.  I am serious.  I have never heard anything like it...ok wait, I have.  Riley can make a laugh similar to this when he wants to, but he has to force it and it comes natural for her.
8. Her feet, I am absolutely certain, are square.
9. If you put her in a swing, you may never get her back out.
10. She backwashes...do not EVER share your drink with her!

Things I have learned about Poland.

1. Poland is beautiful
2. Poland is crowded.
3. The weather is very unpredictable. Sunny and warm one day and then cold and rainy the next.
4. The people are very, very laid back.  Never assume how long it is going to take even the simplest things to get done ...like a passport photo.
5. The only time the are not laid back is when they are driving.   And signs are a suggestion here.  I am not even sure they have stop signs.
6. They have "American Food" restaurants here.  I am not sure why this is weird to me.  Maybe because most "American" food is Italian, Mexican, French...etc.
7. Old ladies ride their bikes to church on Sunday with their high-heels on.
8. And there really are little old men who sit on the bus stop bench reading novels...legs crossed, cane leaning against them, scarf wrapped around their neck, hat on.
9. The trees are so amazing to see.  Color everywhere.

Things I have learned about myself.

1. I like tea. (I think.)

2. I can't handle being away from my kids this long. (I already knew this...so I guess this one should not be on this list.)

3. This is by far the hardest thing I have ever done.
4. Hence, I have eaten way more chocolate bars than I would care to admit. (Their chocolate is fantastic here.)

5. I am not at all classy looking, pushing a stroller with one toddler in it and dragging the other toddler by a leash. (Yes, everyone stares. Weird foreigner.)
6. Every. day. is. hard.  I don't mean this as a reflection of Poland....it is a reflection of me.  I get up wishing the day was already over.  I know God is pushing and sometimes pulling me through each day.  I have something each day to learn and I have to look for it.  Even if the day only teaches me "Karen, you need to learn to chill out and relax. Not everything is going to go smoothly today, so get over yourself."
7. I do NOT envy people with twins. AT ALL. (To those of you who have them or are going to have them, "You are my hero.") I have no idea how to contain these two.  It's as if I am constantly getting on to someone. "Stop putting that pillow on her head." "Stop licking the mirror." "No, you can't have gum again." "Would you just poop already." "Eat your supper." "Quit wiping your supper in your hair." "Sit still. You! You sit still too! Stop wiggling." "How can your nose be running again.  Stop licking your boogers."

And the lists go on and on.  Thank goodness, I get to go pick up my husband from the airport. And we can enjoy what is (hopefully) my last week in Poland together.




Losing It

Ever have one of those times in your life where you were clear on what it was God wanted you to do?  You knew you were on a path that He wanted you on. You were prepared.  You were steady. You were confident. You had it all under control.
Yeah, me neither.

In fact, I realized something.....
I do not have to have control.  I don't have to understand. I do not have to be cool and collected.  I do not even have to always "like" what God has asked me to do.
I do have to believe....
He is God. 
He knows what's going on and I do not have to.
He has control.
I just have to continue in his will for me.  I admit that this approach to life can feel a bit like you are hanging on the edge of a cliff screaming for help.

I spent the first two weeks in Poland wondering what in the world I was doing here. Did I know adopting Olivia was what God wanted? Yes.
Did I spend a year working to get here? Yes.
Did I think I was prepared for her? Yes.
Did I care about all the above things? NO WAY!
I wanted to run home.  Home to my own kids, my own house, my own food, my own language.  I questioned why in the world I had been willing to do this in the first place. How in the world was I going to care for her and my kids too? Did I really want to make a lifetime commitment to a child I did not know? I questioned every single thing that the Lord had taught me over the past year and a half.  I did not want to do what He wanted me to.  Because let's face it....I was scared.  After all,she is scary, right?

Oh come on....she is scary. ;)

Sad thing is. My fear had nothing to do with her.
 It was just about me....giving up...ME.
I needed to be reminded that this was God's plan not mine.  I was here to glorify Him and not myself.  And although I did not feel like she was my child, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she was His child; and He asked me to take her home and love her unconditionally. 
I can not say that I came to this understanding the easy way.
In fact, I feel so sorry for my husband.  He came with me on this journey because he saw my conviction and searched it out with me. It became our desire.  And then we get here and I fall apart. It wasn't pretty. Yet he put up with my insanity.  He only ditched me on the side of the road once. I survived the walk back to the institution with a stroller on the skinny, pot holed road with cars swerving around me at mach speed.
Otherwise, he was great. ;)
And I was a mess.
But I decided that day....after surviving my walk. (dramatic pause)
I lost "control" because maybe that was the only way for me to let Christ gain it.  And you know, no matter how many times God teaches me to let Him be in control (which is quite often); it always so much better when I learn that all the questions and fears can rest on His shoulders. And I can give Him the control of it all.
 I am ok with the fact that I am a living object lesson of "I can do all things through Christ - because without out Him I am a disaster."


 "The good news is that Jesus does not call you to control everything, nor does He expect you to. Actually, He wants you to be okay with the fact that you can’t. Your “success” is not measured by your capacity to keep everything in order; it’s determined by your ability to trust that even in the chaos Jesus is beautiful – and even in the mess, so are you." --unknown

Warsaw

Warsaw is such a beautiful, unique place.  It was such an amazing place to visit.  Grazyna (my agency facilitator) and her husband, Wojtek, took the kids and I on a trip to Old and New Town Warsaw on Sunday afternoon.  They were kind enough to push the kids strollers so I could snap my pictures to my hearts content.  Wojtek, joked that I must have at least taken 1000 pictures....it was only 126. There was just so many amazing things to see. 

So here's my best attempt at copying some things I learned from him while in Warsaw.

After about 20  minutes of driving in circles searching for a parking spot, we parked and walked toward Old Town. The castle looking wall in the upper right corner of the collage is the entrance to the Old Town.  Just inside the walls are vendors selling various painting and other Polish crafts.  I missed getting a picture of this, because Grazyna was moving quickly and I was afraid I might get lost. The streets are packed with tourists and locals. Pushing kids in strollers was a bit hard on the uneven walkways and cobblestone streets. 

Old Town is actually the "newest" old town in the world.  Remember World War II?  Warsaw definitely does.  During the Warsaw Uprising (August 1, 1944 - the Polish people decided to fight back against Nazi oppression.), Warsaw was destroyed.

Over 200,000 Polish people died trying to liberate Warsaw from Nazi Germany. The Soviet army stood opposite bank of the river and watched for 63 days without sending any aid (other than the 1,200 people who dared to swim the river to help).  By January, 85% of Warsaw was crumbled heaps.

When the war ended the people of Warsaw began rebuilding. They resurrected the town using pictures, paintings, and memories of what the town used to look like. So you could say that Warsaw Old Town is more of a replica of the original. The streets are bumpy and uneven due to the fact that they did not level the ground after the distruction.  They rebuilt right on top of all the destruction.  They wanted everything as close to the original as possible.

New Town pretty much skirts around the walls of Old Town. You really can never tell which one you are in. I think I could have just spent an hour taking pictures of the beautiful windows, doors, and architecture.  The buildings are amazing. Speaking of....

Check out this one.  That little tiny building in the middle has it's very own address.  It is the smallest building in Warsaw. On the same block is this...

Apparently these bricks here are 500 years old.  They just randomly stick out on the side of a house, so I am guessing, they are something that actually survived the Uprising.

The streets are just bustling with activity.  Street artists, singers, people playing instruments, merchants, and this guy...

Orrin loved watching him make bubbles. They were pretty fantastic if I do say so myself. "What do you do for a living?" "Oh, I make bubbles."  Oh yeah, sounds like a good job for me; except when the kids pop them before you actually get them made.  He took it way better than I would have. :)

The shops are filled with souvenirs, jewelry, clothing and (my personal favorite) authentic Polish Pottery.

Do you think it will fit in my suitcase?  Not sure I need a teapot that large; although, after staying here for 3 weeks, I have developed quite a love for tea. Let me clarify....I like some tea.  I still can't stand the plain old black tea that they usually serve. Nasty stuff. Anyway, back to the pottery. It is gorgeous.  I hope I can go back and get at least one piece to stow in my suitcase with all the chocolate I am going to take home. Tea and chocolate...oh yeah!

And speaking of food....

Yes, it was all mine....and I enjoyed every last bite.

They did too!

And then there was this place.  Anyone know who Marie Skłodowska-Curie is? Me either...well, until I realized he meant Marie Curie. You know the one we all learned about in science.  She discovered polonium and radium. Who knew she wasn't French?  I sure didn't.  She was Polish and grew up right here in Warsaw.

Her childhood home (the one with the iron balcony with flowers) is now a museum. Apparently the French didn't even start to claim her until she won her second Nobel Prize.

Lastly we went to see the oldest church in Warsaw.  Grazyna and her husband were married in this church. Just as we were leaving, they turned on the lights.

So pretty!

We had such a great time in Old Town.  Hopefully I can take Josh when he returns. And sneak in some pottery shopping and maybe another waffle. ;)

Life at ZLO Piszkowice

 I thought I would tell you about Olivia's former home.

Where to start?  How about here?

 

 

Yep, I am a big fan of beginning at the beginning.

 

 

Olivia arrived here when she was one year old.

 

The Institution is run by nuns.  And when I say "run by nuns", I am dead serious.  Those ladies are IN CHARGE. They keep everything going like clockwork.  I am not precisely sure how many nuns live there.  It seemed to us there were about five; although many others were in an out while we were there.

 

 

 The institution has been here for quite some time.  Since we couldn't really ask them, I have no idea exactly how long.  I did meet one deaf man who grew up in this institution and he is now 51(he is two pics down). He showed me old black and white pictures of the institution from long ago.

 

There two three/four story buildings. They are separated by a parking lot but joined at the third floor by a long enclosed walkway. The closest one in the picture is (I believe) the oldest building and it houses the laundry, kitchen and bedrooms. The second building is newer and houses all of the play rooms, therapy rooms, and class rooms. 

The walls here are very thick. I am guessing this helps keep the buildings warm during the long, cold winters. The institution is heated by coal and some wood. I was told that coal is more expensive than gas, but they do not have the money change over. Everything here is clean, crisp, and orderly.  The walls and furnishings are all brightly colored. I am guessing this is due the fact that most of the children hardly ever see the outdoors except during the hottest part of summer. They are really missing out too....the outside is quite pretty.

 

 

There are gardens and orchards everywhere.  I recognized onions, lettuce, strawberries, apricots, apples, blackberries and a variety of beautiful flowers.  There is a gardener (and as you can see from this pic, he prefers short pants...hehe).  Everything is so organized and pretty.  See that shed in the background?  I stupidly assumed it was for tools, but could never figure out why they left the door open so much.  Josh finally went to inspect...he said there were pigs and I should come look.  Wish he had told me how AWFUL pigs in a very small shed would smell.  Uck!

 

Ok.  Back to the institution.  The nuns said there were close to fifty children staying in the institution. We asked what the age limit was.  Apparently it is more a matter of size.  a Child can stay until he/she no longer fits in a crib.  Which for some kids is quite old and for others not very long.  The oldest child living there right now is around 15.  They have a few exceptions, though.  I stupidly assumed that this girl was in fact a girl because of her size.

 

 

She is 38. And she has lived in the institution since she was eight years old. For the first eight years of her life she was locked in a dark room by her parents because they were ashamed of her.  The police intervened and brought her to the institution where she stays now.  She does not hear or talk.  But that does not stop her from being extremely bossy. She made sure Orrin never stood in his chair at the dinner table, or climbed anything, or ran to fast.

 

They say that they usually have around five children die each year. Many of them have very severe handicaps.  We met three boys who were brothers; all of them where severely handicapped from fetal alcohol syndrome.  It was really sad that parents could do something like that to their child THREE SEPARATE TIMES. Most of these children are unadoptable; they actually have families, but they can/will not care for them.  Some families visit their children, while others do not.

 

Besides Olivia, there was only one other child that could be adopted from ZLO. Her name is Ewa (Eva).  We have know about her for some time, because she was actually the first girl we found through our agency (Children's House International) to adopt.  But as time progressed, the agency decided it was not in her best interests for us to adopt her.  Ewa is much more medically dependent than Olivia.  Although they both have Down Syndrome.  Ewa has had serious heart operations, she gets sick very easily (pneumonia and bronchitis), and she doesn't seem to grow (she is six years old and is smaller than Olivia in height and weight- so basically the size of an average 18 month old -2yrs).  Since we do not live in a good medical area, they figured it would be much too hard on Ewa to live with us.

 

 

But none of her medical issues seem to keep this little girl from being a real spit-fire. She has personality to spare. Josh said he actually watched her tackle a little boy who has no legs and wrestle him (the little guy was pretty good at wrestling too).  She is all spunk and attitude. She just needs a family who can care for her medical needs.

 

I can not tell you about ZLO without mention these two who helped us through our stay. First there is Anya.

We loved her.  She is the only nurse who would speak to us in English (found out later that quite a few spoke English). She helped us more than she will ever know. We all cried when we had to say goodbye to her. And although she says her husband thinks he is the best nurse, I must say she was the BEST NURSE EVER!

And then there is this guy...

Axel.  The guardian.  He is by far the fattest lab I have ever seen.  He could barely move. But he would follow us from one place to the next.  Always waiting for a rub. One of the workers told us that he has epilepsy...she joked that they only get dogs that are like their kids. She said the dog before Axel would just be running along and he would pass out randomly. 

 

 This institution is a good place for the kids. The nuns and nurses really do love on the kids. They have toys, education, food, therapy, and constant care. 

 

So why adopt Olivia, when she is fine where she is?

 

I had this question too the first few days I was there (talk about that later); but here's what I came up with.

 

Because no matter how much activity and stimulation you get, an Institution is not a family.  The kids spend every day going from one room to the next...being occupied. They have food brought to them and at exactly 6pm every night they are taken back to their room and placed in a crib to sleep. They get up at 6am every morning and do the same thing all over again.  They will never know what it is like to interact with anyone outside of these. They may never excel, go to school, travel, experience life outside...they may never leave. And if they do, what's next? Another Institution?

What kind of life is that?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Poland Part 1

Poland.  What can I say.  We are here.

We arrived in Wroclaw (Vrotzlav) late at night and then drove for over an hour to Piszkowice (Piskoveetz).  Piszkowice is located in a small boot like area along the Czech border near the city of Klodzko. It is definitely not

your typical tourist destination.  But it is very beautiful here.

 

Things we learned in Piszkowice.

1. If you go for a walk on the roads, be prepared to have cars scrape by you at high speeds.

2. Polish people drive like they are in the Indy 500 all of the time.

3. Nuns do too.

4. They do not speak English here.

5. If they do, they will not let you know, because they enjoy eavesdropping (they speak English on your last day to creep you out --leaving you wondering what you said around them)

6. They are perfectly happy talking to you in Polish as long as you smile and nod.

7. Nuns are huggers.

8. If you are not a fan of ham and cheese sandwiches, DO NOT GO TO POLAND.

9. Peirogies are fantastic.

10. All drinks are warm or hot.

11. They love the Pope here.  (He stared at me from the cabinet all week long.) Particularly Pope John Paul II ....Was he Polish?

12. Everything is heated by coal (and trash).

13. They say "Dobray"-"good" and "Tak"-"yes" at least 100 times a day.

14. Beware of sheds with doors that oddly hang open.  You may find overwhelmingly stinky "swinka" inside. (ok,ok. . . pigs) 

 

Piszkowice was a beautiful place.  While we were there, we also took a day trip to Kudowa (Kudova) Zdroj.  It is very close to the Czech border. The town is known for it's mineral water.  Our adoption facilitator/translator, Grazyna, informed us that the signs said that if you bought a glass of their water, it would miraculously heal all your diseases and ailments. (Could we quite possibly heal Olivia's thyroid? Doubt it, expensive water.) Hmmm. . . we all passed.  And then in the park they had a place where you could taste the mineral water from a fancy fountain.  Both Josh and Grazyna came away gagging.  Glad I am the sensible, unadventurous one.

The park was beautiful.  There were pigeons, trees, ponds, and cobblestone walkways.  Not to mention a swan (who refused to be photogenic). 

The other places I refrained from pictures.  Partly because the first place we visted in Kudowa Zdroj was a creepy toy museum. Ok, I was the only one who thought it was creepy. Maybe it was my instituional depression (talk about that later) or my overwhelming carsickness wearing off, but endless windows of old dolls and toys was a bit creepy to me.  There was even a doll that had a face that turned.  She had 3 faces! (shudder) I am absolutely positive I have at least one friend that would agree with the overwhelming eerie nature of old toys (yes, Lori Harvell, I am talking about you). So sorry folks, no pics. 

And the next stop was even creepier. (This time I think more people would agree with me). We visted a chapel.  Not just any old chapel. This particular chapel was decorated with the bones and skulls. Creepy, right? 

Skull Chapel (Kaplica Czaszek)

The chapel was built in 1776 by the local parish priest Wacław Tomaszek. It is the mass grave of people who died during the Thirty Years’ War (1618–1648), three Silesian Wars (1740–1763), as well as of people who died because of cholera epidemics and hunger. Together with J. Schmidt and J. Langer, Tomaszek collected the casualties’ bones and put them in the chapel. Walls of this small, baroque church are filled with three thousand skulls, and there are also bones of another 21 thousand people interred in the basement. The skulls of people who built the chapel are placed in the centre of the building and on the altar.

I was not impressed when the nun took us in and shut the doors. Neither was Orrin. We were glad to be out in the fresh air again.

  

On our way back to Piszkowice, Grazyna decided to take us the scenic road.  It is called "The Road of 100 Turns".  Did I mention before that I get carsick?  Imagine me in the back seat of a very small car on this particular road.  Lets just say the scenery was beautiful; I, on the other hand, was not.  I tried to get an occasional glimpse of the forest and mountains that flew by (I mentioned they drive like maniacs in Poland, right?). We passed a place called the Errant Rocks.  It's random rock pillars throughout the forest.  We were told that scenes from Narnia: Prince Caspian were filmed in the Errant Rocks.  I can see why.  The place did have a Narnia quality to it. (Sorry, no pics of that.  We were driving way too fast on a very skinny road . . .and of course, I was carsick.)

 

Other than that, our stay in Piszkkowice was pretty uneventful. And now we are off the the big city. I'll let you know how that went later.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rainbows

Anyone that listens to the news, knows all about the rain and flooding in Colorado.  And guess what! New Mexico happens to be just under that popular state.  We have seen SO much rain this month.  In fact, I am not sure the last time we've had this much summer rain.  It's wonderful and crazy all at the same time.  I am a lover of rain; probably because I live in such a dry place.  There is nothing better than watching crunchy brown grass turn to glorious green. And the only thing better than that is thunder storms.  Love. Them. (Unless they strike by my house and burn out all of the appliances --that is not at all cool.) We live in one of those places where the thunder rumbles against the mountains in a "Man From Snowy River"-ish way. Which in case you haven't watched that movie, well, you should have...it's a good movie...with cool sounding thunder in it.

But best of all are the rainbows!!!  Oh yes, this week has been a week of huge, bright, endless rainbows. 

 

Why in the world am I talking about rainbows!?! 

Good question.

We had a metaphorical rainbow today! 

 

We are officially headed to see Olivia in less than a week!! We finally have a court date.  Thanks to a judge who was very good at dragging her feet; we have only a few days to get our bags packed and flights scheduled. I have never dealt with a travel agency before. So I have a lot to learn this week. Apparently it will be a crash course, since I pretty much need get it done by tomorrow. Speaking of crash courses, I am trying to learn a little Polish!  Yep.  Here you go!

 

Do Widzenia

"good bye"

 

Have a great week everyone! Oh and if you are into this sort of thing...I have a Olivia Search and Find for you. Beware...it is in Polish, so unless you know more than I do, you will have no idea what they are talking about. But she's in there (I could tell you where, but what is the fun in that).

God Moves In A Mysterious Way

God moves in a mysterious way
His wonders to perform;
He plants His footsteps in the sea
And rides upon the storm.

 

Deep in unfathomable mines
Of never failing skill
He treasures up His bright designs
And works His sovereign will.

 

Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take;
The clouds ye so much dread
Are big with mercy and shall break
In blessings on your head.

 

Judge not the Lord by feeble sense,
But trust Him for His grace;
Behind a frowning providence
He hides a smiling face.

 

His purposes will ripen fast,
Unfolding every hour;
The bud may have a bitter taste,
But sweet will be the flower.

 

Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take;
The clouds ye so much dread
Are big with mercy and shall break
In blessings on your head.

 

Blind unbelief is sure to err
And scan His work in vain;
God is His own interpreter,
And He will make it plain.

 

(by William Cowper)

Charity

Today I read something that aggravated me.  And whether my aggravation is founded or not; it was there just the same. So I decided now would be a good time to address this issue. It's called "good old-fashion giving -- aka. charity".

We are only weeks away from hearing when we will travel to go get out little girl. And if you have any idea about adoption at all, you would know that it's expensive. So how in the world did we fund an adoption without a loan?

Is it because we are rich and can afford it?

 

Is it because I am the world best business woman? (haha)

 

Is it because adoption has suddenly become inexpensive?

 

Let me shock y'all by saying "NO" to all of those. (I know, I know, y'all really thought I am a good business woman, didn't you?)

We are here because we reached out to other Christian family and friends for help. And luckily for us, we have some pretty AMAZING friends and family. This is not always the case, trust me. I have seen so many people refused help by their Christian friends and family because... "you shouldn't adopt if you don't have the money". 
(To this I want to say..."you shouldn't buy a house if you don't have the money". But I refrain. Oh, wait, did I just say that...apparently I forgot to refrain.)
Somewhere in our self-sufficient, self-absorbed Christian life we have forgotten the true meaning of giving.  We have forgotten the point of caring for others.  We have forgotten that it takes humility to even ask for help....no one wants to admit that  they can't do it on their own.  We have this idea that if we can go through life never asking anyone for anything, then we are somehow better, because we did it ourselves. We have forgotten that God asked us to care for others needs...

Philippians 2:4

"Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others."

 

2 Corinthians 9:7
"Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver."

 

(PS. He didn't say only give to those who did not ask for help. He didn't say only give when it looks like it was your idea and not theirs.)

 

Josh and I have been blessed beyond measure during this adoption.  I can't count how many times we have received a donation from someone who learned we were adopting and chose to help.  Did we ask for their help? Yes, we did.  Was it hard to ask?  Yes, it was. Were we blessed? Yes, we were.  Were they?  I sure hope so. Do they know just how much their contribution meant to us? I sure hope so....but if they are still wondering, all I can say is...

 

"We love each and every one of you from the bottom of our hearts. We are doing what we feel God asked us to do and we can do it because you cared enough to give. THANK YOU!"

 

Christians! Care! Care enough to help those who are in need!  Even if they asked.

 

 

 

 

Last Steps

Some days we feel like we are dragging our feet. . . or better yet, that "they" are dragging theirs.  And we wonder why.  Why on earth would you drag out an adoption for one whole year? Every step we take seems like such a small one. But apparently even small steps get you somewhere.  For here we are...one last step!

Hopefully sometime in the coming weeks we will be contacted by Olivia's country with our travel date.  We finished off all our immigration paperwork and received Olivia's visa approval.  I am not completely sure how many weeks it will take to get our travel date, but we can be sure it will be after the second of August.

Thanks to all of you who have listened to all our ups and downs; and to those of you who have helped us get this far.  We are almost there!

Room Done (check)

So I know you weren't holding your breath (because you would have expired long ago)but none-the-less, I did promise that once I "finished" fixing up Noel's room for the girl's that I would post pics.  And seeing as how I have very little other news, I decided that I would bore you with it today.  So here you go. . .

 

I learned while trying to get these pics that the window is a real pain. So much sun comes in that window, all the pics came out much too dark and had to be edited. They are also a bit fuzzy, since I could hardly see in there.  Anyhoo....that's it.  Exciting right? 

 

I searched and searched for an area rug, but apparently somewhere inside rugs they stash large amounts of gold.  So for now we went with the old throw rug.

 

I also had to repaint the walls from beige to...well...beige. Thanks to the local True Value paint guy telling me that he couldn't match paint from the paint on the top of the can. See that vinyl horse decal (that Noel loves and could not be removed)....yep, I painted around that. Not easy but possible.

 

Oh yes, and then there is the "wallpaper". Again I had no idea that wallpaper is also made of gold. Did you?  So we did the next most obvious thing....an atlas.  Oh, you wouldn't have made that your second choice?  Why not?  I had so much fun piecing 3 atlases and two travel maps on to these walls to make...wallpaper. Actually...all sarcasm aside, it was kind of fun.  I had no idea there was a Noel, Missouri. Or that Canada's map is actually much prettier than ours - thanks to all the blue lakes. Oh and I had to make sure there was a fully pieced Texas on the wall (not easy), since Josh is from Texas.

 

Noel is now back to the first bunk bed Josh and I ever bought.  I actually gave it to the church a few years ago....thank goodness our church is ok with stealing back a donation. Even better is that it was the same color as her twin bed so we snagged the roll under drawers.

 

And since you made it through that totally boring post, I will tell you that we did finally receive our approval papers back with Olivia's pictures.  Since then, we have filled out all the necessary I-800 (immigration) paperwork for Olivia and it is currently in Dallas waiting to be approved.  We are hoping that this last paperwork takes only a month.  This way, we will be prepared for Olivia's guardian to return from her vacation the first week of August and be on our way to Eastern Europe. 

!!!!!!!

Yeah, I really couldn't think of what to call my post today.  Just wanted y'all to know that I was excited. We recieved our first pictures of Olivia.  The other ones we have are from over a year ago.  Unfortunately I can not share them on here, but if you email me or comment on FB......     (evil grin)

Also our Poland contact said she would be mailing back our packet to apply for Olivia's Immigration paperwork.  So although this may not make us too much closer,  we are at least in a forward motion again ...instead of the never ending pause. 

In all my excitement to tell you that we had pictures, I forgot that I had no other interresting things to say.....hmmm.  Lucky you!

Another litte update

So I finally broke down and wrote to our agency partner in Olivia's country.  Our dossier had been in her country for 6 weeks and I was getting a little antsy.  Ok, a lot antsy.  Since they are in a very different timezone, I didn't expect such a quick answer, but Grace answered me the same day.  Now I will warn you that with all good news is a tiny bit of bad news.  I am learning this is what adoption is all about.

This was our update:

Good News
-our dossier was translated last week
-the Adoption Commission Center approved us as candidates for Olivia's adoption
-all of the paperwork is ready to be sent back for Olivia's I-800A (immigration paperwork) ....except one piece of paperwork

Not-So Good News
-we are missing Olivia's doctor clearance...actually we have it but it is not signed and sealed (another thing about adoptions- EVERYTHING must be signed and sealed)

Bad News
-Olivia's guardian will be unavailable from July 15 - Aug 2 (this means the earliest we can travel to see Olivia is August 2nd). Of course, I am the only one who sees this as bad news.  Apparently I am still the only impatient one in the process.  I know, I still haven't learned my lesson.

So that's the story folks.  My long lesson in patience.  Sometimes I wonder if they make adoption process so long to see if you are truly committed to sticking it out.  And I want to tell them...."I am may be impatient but I am not a quitter". (unless you are talking about housework...I quit in the middle of that all the time)

Ambiance

This is me....

 

 

Yep, I have been sitting here looking out at gray skies all day.  Now this happens very little in New Mexico; and when it does, we hope rain will follow.  And although we have had one or two drops fall, today has mostly just been gray --no rain.  Normally I actually like a day to sit curled up on the couch doing nothing --because the weather told me to.

 

 Today...not so much. 

 

Why? Today I am struggling to hope.  I am trying not to fall into the ambiance of the day. (Karen, the little black rain cloud.) I am letting circumstances and weather affect my attitude.  We are now going on 5 weeks with no word from Olivia's country about our paperwork. Nothing...nada...nyet. Now I know someday I will look back and think this process just flew by, but today is not that day. Have you ever tried to look at the bright side of things on a gloomy day?  It's hard!!!

But God is gracious....He makes sure we have His words to encourage us on days like these.

 

Psalm 39:7

And now, Lord, what wait I for? my hope is in thee.

 

Psalm 31:24

Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord.

 

Psalm 42:5

Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance.

 

I really like that last bit...."the help of His countenance".  He doesn't have days of gloominess.  We do.  And if we hope in Him, we are given His countenance.  Which I am absolutley positive looks nothing like mine at the moment.  Maybe something a little more like this.....

 

 

A Window

Russia.  I hear a lot about it these days. When I first found Reece's Rainbow, probably two thirds of the children listed were in an orphanage in Russia.  Some of them even had families committed to them through Reece's.  For some reason I was never comfortable with going to Russia (I believe it all boiled down to the number of trips they required).  But there was this one girl..... I rooted for her; because had she not been in Russia, I would have considered her in a heartbeat. 

She was called "Dayna" and every picture they had of her was like this one. Happy!  It was as if she never realized that the life she lived wasn't ideal. After stalking watching her profile for a while,  I saw she finally found her family. They committed to bringing her home and were working on their homestudy.

 

  And then the ban.....her family was never going to be allowed to go get her.  "Dayna" died recently in that orphanage, not ever knowing what it would be like to have a family love her. 

 

And there are hundreds more children who will probably never know what it is like to have a real family thanks to Russia's ban. This really frustrates me; but then I am reminded that God is still in control.

 

I hate using this phrase but it fits..."when God closes a door, He opens a window".  He really does.  Because since the Russia ban, over 175 children in China have been listed on Reece's Rainbow.  Some have already found their families.  God cares for every one of these little ones; and even when man feels he is in control...he's not. And somehow God will find a way to take care of all those little ones who can't be adopted. For now He's making sure that these little ones in China find homes.

Tallulah

 

Lydia Rose

 

Annie

 

Liam

 

Bobby

 

All these they need is someone to care enough to move mountains to come get them. And trust me, what you may think is impossible, isn't.

 

Matthew 17:20

And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.

 

**Reece's Rainbow is an awareness and fundraising sight for children with special needs who are on adoption agencies waiting list.  They have permission to post photos of these kids (names are changed to protect children)