Understanding This Love

When we told people we were adoptiong, most people were pretty positive about it.  There were some rather negative responses though.  And one really stuck with me....probably because it sort of defines the beginning part of this adoption so well.

"Why would you adopt someone who is never going to understand what you did for them?"

I admit that when I was asked this, I was a little offended. In all my "righteous" (haha) anger, I thought. "Because that is not the point!!!! We were adopting because God has asked to adopt. And He went as far as to ask us to adopt someone who may not quite understand." (See! Good thing I only thought this and did not say it out loud.) I am hoping that this person was just trying to prepare me. And although I thought that my mind was prepared, I could never understand what they were saying until I actually experienced it. And experience it, I did!!!

Olivia didn't need me. As far as she knew, she was just fine where she was. She didn't need attention or food or therapy....she was cared for. And no matter how much I told myself to understand this, it was exceedingly hard to embrace.

From the moment we stepped into her institution, they took every opportunity to show us just how well she was taken care of...how much they were doing for her. And then they pointed out that I may not be able to take care of her the way they do. Parents were unnecessary for a child like her, because she just needed therapy, food, and a place to keep her safe. Right?

I fought hard to keep my mind wrapped around the fact that God had chosen us to raise her. It was a battle in my mind each day. And even when they finally stopped telling me I was inadequate to meet her needs and the judge declared her ours, I still had trouble connecting with this child. This child who thought I had ruined her rather fun life. She glared, she moaned, she cried any time she actually had to do anything with me. She disliked me and she wanted away from me. I had no idea a child could so strongly dislike their "Mom". She wanted life the way it was...and she still does. Do I expect her to understand? No. But my heart screams for her to understand that just because my love is different than attention she had before, it is still love.

Do you see a parallel here? I know I do. How many times do we look at our Christian life and just want things to be the way they were before? How much easier was it before we actually understood what it meant to be adopted , to be chosen,to be loved by Someone we have never met.

According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love: Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will. Ephesians 1:4-5

To realize that being adopted means that our life has to change. Their are new expectations, rules....a new life....different from our life before. We are to reach out add love the One who loved us first. Even if our life in Him is a little harder at times. Even if we feel He is not easy. Even if He has expectations of us.

To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved. In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace;Wherein he hath abounded toward us in all wisdom and prudence; Having made known unto us the mystery of his will, according to his good pleasure which he hath purposed in himself: Ephesians 1:6-9

He is not attention. He is not always fun. He isn't easy. He is LOVE UNCONDITIONAL. He is our inheritance.
Do we ever fully understand? Do we understand what it's like to have a new parent?

The eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that ye may know what is the hope of his calling, and what the riches of the glory of his inheritance in the saints. Ephesians 1:18

So as I hope some day, for a bit of love and acceptance from Olivia. I am daily reminded that I am also adopted, chosen, and loved. Do I live my life in such a way that shows Him that I love Him, accept Him, understand His love?