National whatever you want it to be Month

Yep it's November....national peanut butter month, national writing month, national diabetes awareness month...and the list goes on and on.  Here at the Johnson house, we have a favorite designation for this month...National Adoption Month (although peanut butter month is a close second).
Actually it is great that November is Adoption Month because November first is the first day, Olivia set foot in her new country, new home, and first family.  Up until then, she was part of a pretty staggering statistic ...163,000,000 orphans.  My mind is blown!  Hope yours is too.

It is strange how I grew up in a Christian family, went to a Christian college, and went to church my entire life and I really don't ever remember being exposed to just how many of the "fatherless" are out there.  (Now I will say, I may have been told and just forgot or didn't truly listen.) I remember hymns, I remember how I was taught to dress, I remember my memory verses and books of the Bible, I remember doctrines...I could keep going.  But sadly I never remember learning to serve "the fatherless and widows in their affliction" (James 1:27)...even though, in high school I actually memorized the entire book of James. We should be teaching our children this enough that it actually makes an impact on them.

A couple years ago, Christ gave me a wake up call.  KAREN, THEIR ARE LOTS AND LOTS OF ORPHANS...DO SOMETHING!!! (No, this was not audible. But I did hear it nonetheless.)  And ever since that day when I clicked a  web link out of curiosity, Christ has been working on my view of the fatherless.  Each day I realize just how much I fail (yep, adopting once and never doing another thing for the other millions is a failure) at acting upon the knowledge I have in my head.  We are Christians...we should act like Christ.  Who I am pretty sure did not just memorize the book of James...HE LIVED IT.

So today I am going to show you a little bit of what I have learned.  Deciding to adopt is hard. Adoption paperwork is harder. And shockingly enough, raising an adopted child is even harder.  BUT with God all things are possible.  And while you feel you may not be able to actually ADOPT, I have learned some pretty amazing things that EVERYONE can do.

So while you are sitting there enjoying National Cappuccino Day, National Housewife Day, National Deviled Egg Day(today), National Doughnut Day, National Pickle Day, or National Chicken Lady Day(my personal favorite), or even National Cook For Your Pets Day(seriously?!?), maybe you can swipe a little peanut butter on doughnut(just remember to be aware of diabetes, while doing this)...or pickle (if you are weird like that) and check out these places that actually help change the lives of orphans:

(PS. These will be in order of when I learned about them...not order of importance. And these are just a few...there are so many more.)

#1 - Reece's Rainbow   This websight will open your eyes.  It is dedicated to helping children around the world with special needs find their special families. And the great thing is...it helps those families raise money for adoption.  So whether you decide to adopt or not, you can always help someone else in their journey to adopt.

#2 - Children's House International  This was our adoption agency. They are wonderful agency.  They have many waiting children listed.  I am really rooting for one of their waiting children...I hope she finds a home soon.

(Photo Credit: CHI -this is Olivia)

#3 - Chances 4 Children This place is fantastic.  They have such a broad range of ways to help orphans in Haiti.  They run orphanages and medical clinics, help women with jobs so they can keep their children, and sponsor orphaned children for schooling, food, and medical care.  So if you can spare a little money each month...there are many children in Haiti who can use a sponsor.

(photo credit: Chances4Children's facebook page)

#4- Pure Religion Apparel Here's something a little less intense.  Help people fund their adoptions by buying these t-shirts for your family for Christmas. 50% of the cost of each shirt goes to an adopting family! (They even have a section which raises money to help the persecuted Christians in the Middle East --just throwing that in their even though it doesn't have to do with adoption.) Great shop...great causes!!!

(Photo Credit: Pure Religion's facebook page)

#5 - Snowflake Embryo Adoptions Now this one was a stretch even for me...I just learned about this one.  Did you know how many embryos are frozen in US? 600,000!!! Yep.  These are CHILDREN who may never be given the option of being born.  They have 3 fates: being discarded (seriously, people?!?), being dedicated to science (think stem cell research here...sorry, but I find this wrong) or they can be ADOPTED!  Yep, there are parents who have chosen to make sure their frozen CHILDREN (because let's face it, they are children) are born even if it is not to them! What an amazing choice! And who knew you could actually give birth to your adopted child?!?

And this is just my short list...so do SOMETHING this National Adoption Month.  Because there are 163,000,000 kids out there who deserve for Christians to follow Christ example...
"Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world." James 1:27

One Year

October 9th, 2013 Weronika Radola officially became Olivia Veronica Johnson.

 

 And I have been wracking my brain for the right words to express what to say that would properly sum up life with Olivia has been like this year.  And I decieded that I have no words (shocking, right).  I can not adequately say what needs to be said about her...about us...about life. So I chose to say it through the words of a song that has really spoken to me...when I hear it, I am ever reminded of THIS LOVE. You know, the love God exemplifies. The one He teaches. The one He asks us to share with others. The love we should fight for. 

 

Love is not a place

To come and go as we please

It's a house we enter in

And then commit to never leave

So lock the door behind you

Throw away the key

We'll work out together

Let it bring us to our knees

To some love is a word

That they fall into

But when they're falling out

Keeping their word is hard to do

Love will come to save us

If we only call

He will ask nothing from us

But demand we give our all

Love is a shelter

In a raging storm

Love is peace

In the middle of a war

If we try to leave

May God send angels to bar the door

No, love is not a fight

But it is something worth fighting for.

I will fight for you will fight for you

Will you fight for me?

Because love is worth fighting for...

 

-Warren Barfield

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Adequate

Adequate: Sufficient to satisfy a requirement or meet a need

 

Do you ever have trouble with this word? 

I do.

I have been fighting with this word for a while.  In fact, I generally try to use it as an excuse to be inactive. "Lord, I am too young. I am too busy. I have too many other responsibilities. I am short-tempered. I don't have the money.  I am INADEQUATE."  I sit back and do nothing, because I fear not being able to "satisfy a requirement or meet a need". So I wait for that magical time when I will feel that I am adequate. 

And then I stumble upon Ephesians again...and I am reminded...

 

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ:

According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love:

 Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will,

 To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved.

 In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace;

 Wherein he hath abounded toward us in all wisdom and prudence;

 Having made known unto us the mystery of his will, according to his good pleasure which he hath purposed in himself:

 That in the dispensation of the fulness of times he might gather together in one all things in Christ, both which are in heaven, and which are on earth; even in him:

  In whom also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestinated according to the purpose of him who worketh all things after the counsel of his own will:

 That we should be to the praise of his glory, who first trusted in Christ.

 In whom ye also trusted, after that ye heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation: in whom also after that ye believed, ye were sealed with that holy Spirit of promise,

 Which is the earnest of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, unto the praise of his glory.

 Wherefore I also, after I heard of your faith in the Lord Jesus, and love unto all the saints,

 Cease not to give thanks for you, making mention of you in my prayers;

 That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give unto you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him:

 The eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that ye may know what is the hope of his calling, and what the riches of the glory of his inheritance in the saints,

 And what is the exceeding greatness of his power to us-ward who believe, according to the working of his mighty power,

 Which he wrought in Christ, when he raised him from the dead, and set him at his own right hand in the heavenly places,

 Far above all principality, and power, and might, and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this world, but also in that which is to come:

 And hath put all things under his feet, and gave him to be the head over all things to the church,

 Which is his body, the fulness of him that filleth all in all." Ephesians 1:3-23 

 

...And I realize, I will never be "adequate" if I am looking for it in myself.  I will never be sufficient.  But the most amazing thing is....CHRIST is our sufficiency.  He can make us "adequate" because...HE IS ADEQUATE.

I don't have to sit back and wait to be someone that I think I am not yet. I need to quit using myself as an excuse for not acting.

 

"For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them." Ephesians 2:10

 

We all are adequate for whatever He has for us to do...we are His workmanship. Created unto good works! We are sufficient to meet that need...we are sufficient to satisfy whatever He requires of us.  Because HE IS in all, over all, he is all in all.

 

Conquer the fear of inadequacy...because we can not walk the path He has chosen for us until we realize... He CAN therefore we CAN. Nothing robs the world of Christ more than Christians who are only doing the things they feel they are adequate for.

 

Ashes

 

Does life ever weigh heavy upon you?  It seems as though it is pressing so hard that giving up would be better than going on?  It always bothered me as a child when someone would tell me something to the effect of "the Lord is coming back...it is just too bad in this world". Like the Lord was going to come rescue us out of our hardship because no Christian ever had ever experienced hardships such as ours. Seriously?!? 

And as a child I thought this was ridiculous...and in essence, it is.  But...

 

I admit I have felt this same way recently.  Like the it would be better if the Lord would return and I wouldn't have to experience frustration, fear, anger, heartache. And His returning would be just that.  Freedom for "me". But...

 

Is that what I should be wishing for? Should I want Him to come back to fix my problems?  This is SO selfish...so very un-Christlike.

 

Maybe just maybe He desires us to wish for His return when...

"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith." 

2 Timothy 4:7

 

A few Sundays ago we sang this...

"Though the way seems straight and narrow,
All I claimed was swept away;
My ambitions, plans and wishes,
At my feet in ashes lay."

 

And I realized that maybe my life was pressing so hard because it was "my" weight which I had not torched.  Maybe I would not dread my life if I was not fighting so hard for "my" life. What if I just let go of what I wanted...I just torched it to ashes? What if I torched my ambitions, plans, and wishes...burnt them to ashes.

 

 What would happen? 

 

What if I just fought the good fight, kept the faith, finished my course? No matter what my course is, no matter how hard or confusing it might be.

 

 I want to look down at my feet one day and see a huge pile of ashes...my ambitions, plans, and wishes.  And maybe when He does return, I will have ashes on my feet and hopefully my arms can be filled with HIS ambitions, plans and wishes.

 

"For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." Matthew 11:30

 

Lighten the load...burn it to ashes!

 

 

 

Some Days It Hurts

There are those days....those days that just plain hurt. You wake up worn out. You dread. You drag. You question.
And as an experiencer (yep, don't even know if that is grammatically correct - using it anyway) of days like this...5 in a row to be exact, I can say it's OK.

Why?

Because God knows!

In fact He not only knows, but He planned these days FOR ME. He knew I needed them. (No. I haven't the foggiest idea why.) He wants me to hurt. I know you are thinking I am loosing it about now....so I will try to explain.
I am weak. I am worn. I fear. I fail daily. I get tempted to give up. I get tunnel vision and can't see the good in anything. I don't want to DO anymore. I just can't see past myself.
And all that pain/frustration brings us to a point where "I" just isn't going to work.
"I" won't try anything because it might be hard.
"I" won't look to Him because he just might ask me to do more.
"I" will say no to just about anything.
So HE is trying to get me to the point where I quit fighting to be an "I".  Because He can do wondrous things through someone who has exhausted every bit of them self. (Not that I have....pretty sure there is still plenty of "I" in me. Scarey!)

So if today hurts...it's OK.

Job 13:15 "Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him..."

I Forgot

I forgot!

I forgot to dread getting out of bed to a little girl who disliked me. I forgot to rehash each day to see what I had done wrong or right with her. I forgot to get annoyed every time she ran to a stranger for love instead of me. I forgot to lay in bed every night relieved to have few hours of time away from her. I forgot to resist the urge to glare back when she glared at me. I forgot to pray every night that God would make sense of all the frustration, fear, and anger that oozed out both her and I. I forgot...

.....because one day, when I wasn't paying attention God answered. 

She forgot that she didn't want me for a mother.

I forgot she hasn't always been my daughter.

The other night I looked over at her sitting with her dad and siblings and couldn't possibly imagine what life would be like without her. 

I think from that moment 3 years ago when I looked over at the ultrasound machine and realized that I was indeed not going to have another girl...there was this little girl about to be born in Poland that God had planned for me.

So no matter how incapable you feel, no matter how hard it might be, no matter how difficult it is to make sense of, no matter how frustrating each day plays out.... just forget....forget that you "can't possibly do it" and remember HE CAN.

"And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for My strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore with I rather glory in mine infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 

2 Corinthians 12:9

"And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work." 2 Corinthians 9:8 

  

Oops...it's been a while!

So....yes....it's been four months since I have darkened the door of this blog. I would say it is because I couldn't access the internet, but that would only be partially true. I can access it on my phone, which is what I am doing now. Typing like this is really quite tedious.
My main reason though is a little more complicating. Life has been complicating. Every day has been a new experience and challenge. I have learned so many things....things I can admit, I did not want to learn. Because let's face it....who likes to realize they have no idea what they are doing.

Olivia.

I am not even sure where to begin. She has changed so much in the past few months. and yet...she hasn't.  She is a little slimmer from all the chasing and running from siblings. Her hair has grown like crazy. But she has decided that being small in stature is a big benefit. I think she may be in 2T clothing until she said is 7.

She still speaks very little. She will only say words if prompted. We are hoping to have her enrolled in speech therapy soon. On the other hand, she is a big fan of sign language. She likes to sign "Jesus Loves Me" and "Oh How I Love Jesus".
She likes animals from a distance. And she really enjoys being outside in the dirt. She can spend hours just sitting out in the yard digging and throwing dirt and rocks. She also loves books...and her Dad...and strangers.

Us.

We are adjusting. Daily. Every day is different.
We have learned so much about RAD (reactive attachment disorder) and its effects on children. This is by far the biggest hurdle for us. RAD is serious and it can rock your world. Especially for a mom (I might try to elaborate more on this later).
We are still trying to differentiate between normal Down Syndrome behavior and RAD. This is very confusing. And down right exasperating.
And mainly we have learned that apart from Christ, there is no way we could survive this. He is a shelter in a time of storm. He has to daily reminded us the importance of forgiveness, self control, patience, perseverance.....and the list goes on and on.
Because let's face it. Adoption is awesome...but it is not easy. And sometimes we find the hard things in life are the most rewarding.