Control

Control.  This is a huge word.  I know it's not like supercalifragilisticexpialidocious; but for me it's huge. Huge in the sense that it's a huge thing to let go of.  I cling to it; like a crazy person.  I love to know what is going on and "help" in any way I can.  In other words, I like to control. 
Fortunately God has the grace to kindly remind me, I am not in control and He is.  He has every moment of my life figured out.  Even the moments I truly do not understand.  He's got me covered (literally)! So no matter how crazy things get around here, I can rest in the fact that God knows what is going on, so I do not have to.  He really is amazing like that.
Now I must tell you how He has reminded me of this. 

1) Black Thurday (yes, this does exist) I found a great deal on a Kitchen Aid mixer from Kohls.  Josh and I decided this would make a fun fundraiser.  So we ordered one and set up a local raffle.  We sold tickets and put up signs.  And then.......Kohls emailed and said they cancelled our order.  (They have never, ever done this to me before.)  I panicked!  WE HAD SOLD TICKETS!  So for one day, I pulled out my hair wondering what I was going to do.  And then my sister told me to quit fretting and try to contact Kohls.  I tried several customer service numbers...nothing(don't you hate computerized customer service).  But my sister wouldn't give up.  And after 3 days, I found a wonderful customer service lady who helped me re-order.  I was relieved.  And then.....the very next day Kohls called and asked me if I wanted to re-order. (See God was in control--panic over nothing).  He also saw fit to get us even more of a rebate than we originally would have had.  Amazing right!  You would think I would have learned from number 1 but alas I needed a number 2 (yes, I have said this before).

2) For about two weeks our agencies have been saying that our homestudy was finished.  But this mysterious homestudy was nowhere to be found.  No one knew what was going on.  And the social worker was not answering any of my emails or calls.  (And since I am a control freak, I did call and email ALOT.) So this morning she calls me and tells me that although she finished our homestudy and it is ready, she is quitting our case.  We are going to be transferred to another agency.  Which might not be a terrible thing, except they have to redo some things before we can get our "finished" homestudy and they are going to charge us another application fee.  So there goes my wish to have our USCIS in before Christmas. 

Control.  No, I am not in control.  I am letting go.  God knows our time frame and I am going to trust that He worked out the "Mixer Mess", and He can work ALL things for His good and ours.  Because no matter how hard I fight it.....He's got my back.  There is a little girl out there who is waiting for us and God is the one in control of getting us to her.  So if you see me, remind me "Let go, Karen. He's got this."